Biology does not create family, love does


September 19th, 2005 I got to be placed in my mother’s arms for the first time creating an instant bond – a bond that was not created by blood, but by choice.
When it comes to children, China’s laws are strictly enforced for population control. According to, the one-child policy was initiated in the late 1970’s to limit the majority of family units in the country to one child each. The population valued males over females with males being preferred and females were not desired in China. If a child was born and it was a female, it might be aborted, abandoned, or even hidden from the government. According to, consequences are even more terrifying. Doctors would inject poison into the baby’s skull to end its life. If babies were alive when born, doctors would drown or strangle the baby. The parents would also be punished if they were caught having two children. Parents would be taken and would either be imprisoned or suffer the pain of torture.
Adoption is what saved me from these haunting consequences. My biological parents had made the decision that they could not keep me, so the best result was to abandon me with only a blanket, hoping an officer would find me. I, luckily, was. As a result, I was taken to an orphanage. I stayed in the orphanage in Nanning Guangxi until I was nine months old when a family decided they wanted to take me in as their own and bring me to America. As of today, I am not aware of who my biological parents are. There are no records or tracings of my parents. There are days that curiosity strikes me, but I’m grateful for the family who took me in and gave me a great life. They will always be considered my family, even if it isn’t by blood.
There are times that I wonder how my life would be different if I was not adopted. I wonder which traits I picked up from my parents. Do I look like my mom or my dad? I wonder if I have any other siblings out there who have the same interests as me. I have a lot of questions that will never have answers. But I can live with this curiosity because God placed me with a family who could give me the love and life I needed.
Many families sometimes don’t consider the positive outcomes of adoption. For parents who cannot conceive children on their own, I would direct them to adoption. Even though they are not biological, you can still create the same bond and love. The process of adoption can be overwhelming, but in the end it is worth it.
Putting children up for adoption is not always an easy choice. Situations such as teen parents, drug addiction, financial instability, or, as in my situation, too much control by the government can lead one to make this difficult decision. Adoption does come with a lot of emotions, because one side of the experience is experiencing a loss, but the other side experiences a gain. For the child, adoption will make a huge impact on their lives.
Adoption doesn’t always mean having official documentation. Many times, it is as simple as taking in someone who needs a little bit of help and considering them as your family. Consider adoption and be aware of the great outcomes that could happen. It could not only change the child’s life forever, but yours as well.