Every second spent in high school is a second of restructuring yourself. When I was naive freshman (sophomore, junior, and most of senior year), I let myself fall into someone else’s idea as to who I should be. I was like a mannequin. I allowed people to dress me up and move me any way they decided. I want to help you from making the same mistake I so easily made. Often we mistake maturity for self molding, rather than self individuality. I’m going to give you secret insights of things I wish someone would have given me.

1. People are going to try to determine your path for you.

Throughout high school the most common question is, “what are you going to do with your life?” This question is a black blanket that suffocates many people because they don’t know how to reply. This blanket covers so many areas and so many unknowns it is impossible to have the perfect answer. When you don’t have an answer for this ominous question, often people try to answer it for you. Until the end of my junior year, I thought I would become a doctor. My family saw it as a beacon of light illuminating a perfect future. So, I took lots of science and math classes. I pursued this field with my whole heart. One day, I realized one tiny flaw in the well orchestrated plan; I have a deathly fear of needles. I have for my whole life, yet somehow I overlooked my own thoughts to fulfill someone else’s idea. My mama never told me not to listen to friends, teachers, family, or anyone else when determining what my future should look like. Find what makes you happy, not the happiness others envision for you. 

2. People are going to try to determine your personality.

Be yourself. That is the one of the most overused phrases in the world, however it is also one of the most powerful. I’m a true believer in genuine personality, yet I used to be a hypocrite. I used to be a sponge, soaking bits and pieces of everyone I associated with personalities. It was my biggest flaw, and ultimately led to me separating myself from others. I didn’t understand where they stopped and I began. I was lost in a sea of attributes. As humans we naturally want to fit in, which usually means giving up a piece of yourself in exchange for a relationship. People are going to want you to be like them because that means it’s easier to connect with you, but that doesn’t need to be the case. You can like new things that they bring to the table, while also standing strong in who you are. High school is all about finding yourself. Most people don’t quite know, so they leach onto someone else’s personality. It may seem easier, but in the end you have to understand who you are. Soon enough you will face life alone.

3. People are going to try to determine worth.

People are going to determine your worth through, grades, size, mistakes, social status, internet status, style, and a million more things. All these ideas tend to swoon us. We are won over by the idea of looking better, sounding better, and acting better, and others determine us from these “betters”. For example, I have always gotten perfect grades. Somehow, however, that automatically made me a great and smart person. The idea also reflects on itself for someone with bad grades.People simply make deductions about someone based on a single thing. They are constantly assuming everything, and it is so easy to fall into the same grave as them. We see how they make judgement on us, so we do the same to ourselves. If you take anything from this article, it would be to stop determining your worth based on nonsense ideas. Take the time to realize it is one letter, one number on your waist, one mistake, one like, and one self destruction.